HSHost2 says "Welcome to Hollywood Spotlight on realhollywood.com! My name is April, and I'll be your host for this evening. Joining me in the studio tonight is my producer Peter, and our fabulous typist, Michelle. If you would like to ask our guest a question this evening, it's very simple. Just type in /ask a space and then your question. If you're using "Excite's VP chat" you need only click the "something to say" icon at the bottom right corner of your screen. We are all very excited about our special guest this evening, comedian, Adam Ferrara. Welcome to Hollywood Spotlight, Adam! Hi Adam, Thanks for joining the chat tonight. So how did you do on the Comedy Central Awards?"
AdamFerrara says "Right now, Comedy Central is taking a vote for best male standup. You can vote by calling 1/909/370-5020 or sending an e-mail at www.comedycentral.com. Hey guys! Vote for me. The next show is airing tomorrow at 11:00. Vote. We have the comedy awards coming up. Thank you April. Funny comedian. We have a guy that is mildly amusing. Please welcome the semi-humorous Adam Ferrara. Comedy Central. I have been nominated for the American Comedy Award. I have no idea what that is. Hello Hal, open the pod bay Hal."

HSHost says "What do you have going on with Comedy Central?"
AdamFerrara says "Do you know how to work the computer because I am at home trying to log in on a porn channel. I have earthlink. You end up with one breast in one corner and one lip in another. It is not quite right. I call Earthlink and say hey, your program isn't working. They ask what I am trying to get and I say don't be concerned. You should see the stuff that goes on in my head. A good day is when all the voices in my head are getting along. It is like Ghostbusters. There is no Dana only Sue."

HSHost says "Vote for Adam by calling...1-900-370-5020"
AdamFerrara says "I am looking for finding serenity in my life but I figured out I am the problem. I keep a journal and find that I am lying in it. Let's move on. Three dots. We will continue. I have been nominated for comedian of the year. You can vote for me over the telephone 1/900/370-5020."

HSHost says "www.comedycentral.com"
AdamFerrara says "You can also vote over the internet at www.comedycentral.com. Vote for me I have two cranky parents."

HSHost says "When do you find out who won?"
AdamFerrara says "This is my second nomination. I flew my parents out. We are sitting at a table, there are all these celebrities. My mother was like sit up straight honey, John Travolta is looking. I know all the guys and they are all very funny. You know what they say it is an honor to be nominated. THEY ARE WRONG! WRONG!!!! Don't you believe it."

HSHost says "What's the road like?"
AdamFerrara says "The road gets lonely. You fly around, you have to look at the license plates to know where you are. I flew into Memphis and the guy picks me up at the airport and gives me a southern accent and says please don't make fun of Jesus or Elvis in that order. I am from New York so it is nice to go back. My father is in construction. An Italian in construction in New York..."

HSHost says "Do you miss New York?"
AdamFerrara says "I live in L.A. and the philosophy in New York is different. In New York, people will fall down dead in the street and nobody looks. In New York, if a guy is coming down the street in a Viking hat, you know he wants money. In L.A. the same guy is a producer. You got to be in it to win it. That is what they do here in L.A. Everybody thinks it could happen at any minute. Everyone is on the list and behind the velvet rope."

HSHost says "So how do you deal?"
AdamFerrara says "I want it too. I want to be plastic. Bathe me in wax. I don't know how you deal with it. I call my family and they straighten me out. I flew home and am sleeping on the couch. My father comes home and kicks the couch and says hey DeNiro you want to take the trash out. He says the show must go on and my garbage must go out. It keeps you in line and grounded and to what is important. You know how shaky L.A. is? The ground moves. How can you take what anyone says. L.A. is built on bull****. I am adapting. I got a great job."

guest8046 asks "Are you going to be in Los Angeles soon?"
AdamFerrara says "I am going to be on the road. Call the Melrose Improv and they will let you know when I am going to be there. They know where I am before I do. 323/651-2583 is the number. Call and ask when I am performing and they will tell you."

HSHost says "What is the title of your CD?"
AdamFerrara says "I also perform at the Ice House in Pasadena. I did my CD there it is called Have Some. To Order 323/876-5566."

guest8046 asks "Is Los Angeles a bad place to start stand-up because of the competition or should I just go for it?"
AdamFerrara says "If you live in L.A. it is a great place to start standup. If you live here ok. If you can go outside and get your act together that is better. I started in New York and would do 5 sets a night going from club to club. If you don't live here work on your act and get it together and come here. If you have your act together you will do better."

HSHost says "When you start out are you paid?"
AdamFerrara says "Not much. I was supposed to get $50 for a show. The guys says I owe you $50 but we had a problem with attendance and I only have $10 but what do you smoke? I try to lead my life and report what is happening and the weirdest stuff is true."

guest8046 asks "Where do you get your material for your stand up?"
AdamFerrara says "It is pretty good. I tried to go to a therapist and it helped me. not going to the therapist but seeing the people in the waiting room."

squeekie asks "If you didn't make it as comedian what do you think you'd be doing to make a buck?"
AdamFerrara says "Probably working for my uncle Tony sitting in the back of a Buick with a gun hoping nothing goes wrong."

Sid asks "What roles do you have coming up?"
AdamFerrara says "If I had my way yes. Pilot season is coming up and that is when we all read for different shows and keep our fingers crossed."

SRT5 asks "Can you tell us a very good joke"
AdamFerrara says "Getting heckled over the internet. Going... Say man, when are you going to be funny? You ain't shown me nothing yet. You got two more minutes before I go get some porn. What was that www.beavertrap.com I am going. Got my hands in the air and am queuing my mouth. April used to be my favorite month. I would walk in the rain and say hey look at the bird mating and....we will name our daughter April...hi this is April and my half brother leap year and my clutsy brother fall. My sister, she is a little insensitive to others, we call her Winter. You know I used to be a twin and my name was vernalknox....See you next year Noxie. You are the baby in the family. They dote on you. Hey, I said dote, I did very good on the SAT, what can I say. You married April?"

HSHost says "No"
AdamFerrara says "Hi my name is Adam my last decision was made a couple of months ago...... That was done merely for comedic purposes. I am very lucky to have this woman in my life. That is my disclaimer."

guest8039 asks "Do you get to choose who opens for you when you're on the road?"
AdamFerrara says "Not really, you just show up. It depends on the club and what your friends are doing sometimes you do and sometimes you don't. Thank you. I don't know. You can check. I don't know."

guest8039 asks "I voted for you to win the comedy award on Comedy Central and I haven't checked to see who won, how'd you do?"
AdamFerrara says "I could be like Gomez Adams checking the results. Vote for me. I'm sorry, go ahead."

guest8040 asks "You must travel around the country a lot, what is something funny that has happened to you in an airport recently?"
AdamFerrara says "I am standing by the white courtesy phone. A page comes over paging Mr. Mahamamamama. Mr. Mahammamama. The guy next to me picks up the phone and says that is who he is. I am standing behind him going mamaamamam. He turns around and got mad at me. I was laughing like some mental patient. Mothers were grabbing their children goin this guy is crazy."

guest8043 asks "I've seen you on comedy central and I think you're great!...how do you stay fresh?"
AdamFerrara says "I sleep in the fridge. You just don't think about it. The minute you think you are dead. The minute I get on stage I can be intimate with 400 people but the minute I get off I go don't look at me. I have a self esteem problem."

guest8040 asks "How old were you the first time you did stand up in front of a crowd?"
AdamFerrara says "I was in high school. It was great. They laughed."

HSHost says "How was it?"
AdamFerrara says "You are like wow, you are so sullen. I had a girlfriend say I faked it and I was thinking what a performance it was, God bless you honey, you take some money out of petty cash. We don't care if you lie because guys lie to each other all the time. I had a friend tell me, swear to God, the hooker gave me the money back. Guys can't help it. We can't help it. Most women's complaints are that men only think about sex. Duh? When they start to organize there is civil unrest in the genitalia. There is a little **** cell in bow tie telling people, we have been lied, we don't get out..."
AdamFerrara says "If you want to buy my CD 323/876-5566. How is it going Michelle? It is going okay. She is saying get him off. I am going to find me a nice prosecutor and chunk this job. Buy my CD. Kiss my ass, where is my CD?"

SRT5 asks "Adam you are very funny .. my Qs is what was the highlight in your career"
AdamFerrara says "The Montreal Comedy Festival. I got a standing ovation and Don Rickles was hosting, after the show he came up to me and said you are going to be a big star and he hugged me and said remember what I said. I passed out. My agent apologized and said sorry Mr. Rickles, he passed out. It was such an honor. That and there was this waitress in south bend. She did this thing with her thumb. She must have been European. I have to stop now."

guest8048 asks "Adam, who is your favorite Southpark character and why?"
AdamFerrara says "Kenny. I love Kenny. He gets killed and comes back. He is part vampire on his mother's side. We were going to name him LeStat."

guest8039 asks "What is your opinion of shows like Mad TV and Saturday Night Live?"
AdamFerrara says "They are great. I like them. The sketches are great. Any time live comedy is on TV it is a good thing."

guest8039 asks "What is your favorite city to do stand up?"
AdamFerrara says "I love..it depends if it is hot I like the north if it is cold, I like the south. I am squatting over the heater in the motel room trying to warm up. The weather channel says it is cold...."

HSHost says "Are you cold sensitive?"
AdamFerrara says "It is cold in New York but not like in Minnesota. It is like cryogenic cold."

guest8040 asks "Any plans to one day write a book?"
AdamFerrara says "I would like to but I guess I should read one first. I am dyslexic. When I was little, my mother would spell out that we have to tell Adam the dog is dead. I would go what, god is dead!..... I didn't realize until I moved out of the house what my family was to me. We used to drive my mom nuts, on purpose and my mom is tough. She made a cop cry once. I have two younger brothers."

HSHost says "How many brothers?"
AdamFerrara says "That has to be tough. We drove our mother crazy."

guest8059 asks "As comedian of the year, how do you plan to stop world hunger?"
AdamFerrara says "You know, the Virgin Mary actually said close the door were you born in a barn. Breasts. Thank you India have the left one. Thank you Guyannnnna. Michelle is so cranky. She is going slow down. Stop with the crystal meth. hi our next comedian is tweeked he is eating sugar all day."

SRT5 asks "Adam did you always like comedy and would you play a dramatic role"
AdamFerrara says "Yes, I have always done comedy. I am looking for a dramatic role. I have done some in some plays. But Checkov that is really dramatic. It has been raining since morning and... I was at HC studios when Bill Hickey was alive. He would go Adam stop with the funny and do it again. It was really cool. Then they had all the girls in there. They are like I am really a model but I want to act? I was like can I bathe you? I just did an episode of the Love Boat. It will be on February 12th. On the set they have all the girls sitting by the pool, they call it bikini day. I showed up and there are herds of beautiful women in bikinis around the pool. It was like a tear in reality and I crawled in. It was like God said he has suffered enough. They thought I was ridiculous."

HSHost says "How did it go?"
AdamFerrara says "I can see a girl but then I turn into that little buzzard on Bugs Bunny going aaaahhh.... and I can't say anything. I can get in front of a crowd but when you have to be one on one with somebody. What is your recipe for chicken?"

guest8046 asks "What is a comedy workshop?"
AdamFerrara says "It is run by Santa's elves in the off season and the leader of the improv group wants to be a dentist. There are comedy workshops at clubs. We would get together, it was myself and Kevin James and Rock Rubin and who is a great standup and Gary Valentine. The four of us were together and it was a great sense of community. Find a group of friends you can bounce ideas off of. I can't write, I have to be in the moment and write on stage. I just go. It is lucky when you are working but if you don't have a discipline of writing every day you feel lost when you aren't working."

guest8059 asks "How does your work affect your relationship?"
AdamFerrara says "It is tough when you travel a lot. The distance, you have huge phone bills and you are asking your girlfriend to talk dirty to you."

guest8048 asks "Hey Adam, what does performance anxiety mean to you?"
AdamFerrara says "If you have something new you are focused on getting to the new joke and if your new joke works you feel great for the rest of the set if it doesn't work you go oh, it was so great in the shower. Anxiety is when your girlfriend is in the bathroom and you are knocking on the door, going is it blue? is it blue? You go hey it is only a couple of days, it could be stress......"

Sid asks "What do you like to do in your free time?"
AdamFerrara says "I am figuring out I have to do something in my free time. I am realizing I don't have a life. I tried pottery. The damn wheel got clay all over the house. I was so worried Patrick Swayze was going to come up behind me and spoon me. Nobody puts Baby in the Corner. Quite possibly the worst line in history. Shoot me now. Well, I've had the time of my life. I can't take him seriously after that. There is no way I am taking that guy serious. We all saw your **** in People magazine but did it have to be in a publication children have access to. I am going to follow you home April. Do you wash your panties right away or do they sit on the floor away. hey a Victoria's Secret G String. They are supposed to be the softest. I put them on my head and say who wants a ride."

guest8043 asks "Will you be in Vegas any time soon?"
AdamFerrara says "Yes, February 2nd through the 6th I will be at the Improv at Harrahs. Thanks for having me. Please vote for me for Comedian of the Year. Thanks. Goodnight. So Long."